Pipe Masters, Baby

In Decemeber Trent and I journeyed up to the North Shore (2.5 hrs by bus) to check out the Pipe Masters! It was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Just being on the North Shore makes me love Hawaii. (My strong dislike of living in Waikiki isn't a secret right?) Everything up there is so much more laid back and even on a day where they had this huge event it was more chill than our area. But I digress.

Pipe was different than I thought for sure. Most of the time, (at least on that day,) the waves looked choppy and messy or it was like Lake Pacific out there. Then, all of the sudden this perfect wave would pop up and you would see what everyone was talking about. Let me tell ya, that thing was massive. It made me realize why Kelly Slater is one of the best, he can totally call when that wave is going to pop up and he just goes for it.

Have I ever mentioned that Trent has what we lovingly call "Persian Feet"? I'm not sure why that makes sense but it refers to a Persian Prince, and of course he would have the softest most delicate feet out there. Trent NEVER goes anywhere without his feet fully covered. No flip-flops, slippers or sandles. Homeboy rocks his skate shoes everywhere. So when we were at Pipe we found out that the wave breaks really close to shore and a big one will wash up tons of water on shore without warning. I was fine because I de-flipfloped when we got on the beach but Trent still had his skate shoes one. Poor kid got his shoes flooded. He had to take off his shoes and expose his Persian feet to the elements. I was cracking up especially when he buried his feet in the sand so they wouldn't get any sun.

Oh, hello there.

  It's amazing what a full day of blog stalking can do to you. It can make you want to blog again after months of not blogging or really reading blogs. For me it was a nice little vacay. Our lives have changed so much in these past few months, it was a little on the crazy side. So last time I was on here I had just had a miscarriage, about to graduate from college, planning a huge move, and working.

  Now we have moved to Hawaii, Trent and I graduated, Trent started grad school, I had two completely terrible jobs and now work at Sephora, and we are currently looking for a new place to live as our lease is up at the end of February.

  When we first moved here, lemme tell ya, I hated it. "Who could hate Hawaii?" you may ask. And I would answer with to thumbs pointed at myself, "this girl". Right before we moved life was hard but crazy, I didn't have time to really grieve what had happened or really heal from the whole thing. Some women I've talked to say their miscarriage was hard but not devastating because they weren't really attached to the baby/pregnancy, they hadn't reached a stage where they felt this severe loss. I'm not trying to lessen what they went through but I was in a different place.  I loved my child growing inside of me. I was connected. That little guy was my buddy I was carting around. So when we moved here and life slowed down to Hawaii speed, everything hit me like a ton of bricks.

  A big move is hard enough as it is, this coming from a girl who has moved houses and states at least 22 times. But with everything on top I was definitely breaking. My support system was gone and I was surrounded by strangers/crazy people everywhere I went, Waikiki is one of the dirtiest places I have ever been, it's suuuper expensive here and I had nothing to do. It wasn't until early November that things started to get better and it was because of dear Trentyloo.

  I could tell my intense emotions were starting to wear on this most patient of men. I was crying daily and pretty depressed. I would go to my job in the morning, crying all the way, meet Trent for lunch, cry then too because the people there were mean, and then cry that night about having to go back the next day. We were sitting at lunch in downtown Honolulu and Trent said, "Babe, you need to think about the things that are good in your life, think of what you're thankful for". Of course I replied with the only rational thing to say, "There's nothing to be thankful for!!!!!!!" He just looked at me and said, "Oh really? Nothing to be thankful for? That's just ridiculous, you have plenty to be thankful for and you need quit this". Then he got up and left.

  At first I got mad because I mean, I had been through an ordeal. I felt entitled to my sadness. But Trent doesn't pull stuff like that unless he means business so I really had to think about it. I am not the first nor the last women to go through a miscarriage and big life changes. I had plenty to be thankful for and at the top of the list was a husband who would love me, be honest with me, care for me and love our children. After that things got a lot better because my attitude got better. Sure, sometimes I will still cry because I am not pregnant and those plans have been put on hold but I know we're where we're supposed to be.

  I am hoping to post a little more on here. I tried posting photos on another blog I started for a while but soon got sick of it because I'm not a photographer and I was also trying to make myself like Hawaii. Now I definitely appreciate being here although I know it's not where we're going to end up. This is a short stay and I intend to have fun while we're here!

Sometimes Life Is Hard

So you may have been wondering where the heck I've been...okay maybe not. I have been debating on what to put in this post, whether or not to even write this post. But let's be honest, I've never been one to keep things in for too long and I have always found the support of my friends and family to be an extreme comfort. 

So, I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago. Man o man were we excited to be pregnant, but I guess the timing wasn't right. At first I was sick during the pregnancy and super tired. But then about 8 weeks in I started feeling a lot better and I thought I was just lucky. We went in for the first ultrasound  at 10 weeks and were told the bad news. I had a D and C two days after that. Honestly, there hasn't been a day since then that I haven't cried. Trent has been pretty broken-hearted over it too.  We are both just disappointed and sad, like I said, we were really excited about being pregnant.
The timing of it all wasn't exactly fun either. It was right before finals and it wasn't like I could just stop doing school work. I was about to graduate so I had to finish. I also had to keep working although my work was so amazingly understanding and supportive of everything.
Bottom line, this sucked. But here are some things I've learned:

Heavenly Father will always take care of you, even if you don't understand what is happening.
The Lord's timing is better than your timing.
When you have a miscarriage you go through all the stages of grief.
Women everywhere have had miscarriages and there is a bond between you that offers support. These women will cry with you because the pain is still real 30 years down the road.
Pregnancy changes you. I was in total mommy mode, you don't just snap out of that.
Diet Coke is oh so delicious after almost 3 months.
I would rather be pregnant than drink Diet Coke.

So now the waiting begins. If we could start trying again to be pregnant right now, we would. But my stupid body takes forever to do anything. So we are waiting for things to get back to normal and then we will get back on the, er, horse?

In the meantime, I have a move to Hawaii to plan!

Das Wassup

Trent and I have a little bit of a crazy life right now! I am taking a homework break and figured, "hey, why not check out that ol' blog of mine?" It was weird, I wanted to. 

This semester is all about trying to get sleep, while staying on top of things, whilst trying to not look homeless everyday. It's also all about trying to not cry everyday because Trent and I don't get to see each other very much. We've never had to be apart very much and now we're total wimps about it. I also have been volunteering in the laundry room at the temple once a week and you know what I discovered? You can feel the Spirit while folding towels.

Yesterday, while at work I heard someone mention, graduation... I GOT SO EXCITED! I felt butterfly's! Just 3 short months and we're there! We have no idea where we're going after or what we're doing, but the important thing is, we will have our dang degree's! 

I feel like I'm doing some cool things this semester. I have always tried to take classes that are interesting or teach me to do something I don't know how to do. (Hence gardening, sewing cooking, etc...) I've never been good at taking photo's so this semester I'm taking digital imaging. I am learning so many cool things about Photoshop and how to take a better picture. Here are some recent photos...

Aint Nuthin but a Gangster Party...

Most of you have probably seen this, but some of my family hasn't. Our friend Kate took some family photos recently and we showed her this picture to recreate. We thought it was hilarious and undeniably classy. It shall hang in our house forever.

"Lots of people take 7 years to finish college"

"Yeah, they're called doctors."

Rexburg Temple last night...

I got so lazy over this winter. I forgot what its like to be busy! I'm super happy to be almost done with school and see what happens next.

Tuesday was the first day of school and then yesterday was the longest day ever.

7 - wake up

8 - work

12:45 - class

2 - work

5:15 - temple

9 - grocery shopping

10 - homework

12 - bed

I am kind of excited for some of my classes. I have a digital imaging class that will make my pictures not suck and also requires me to post photos twice a week onto a photo blog. So while I might be M.I.A for a bit here, you can check out my weekly photos, here. (I haven't changed my name at the school yet, hence, McKenzie Shelley.)
 

Familia

MY SISTER, STACEY HAD HER FIRST GIRL TODAY!

It was kinda funny, she called me and I had to call her back, so when she answered she said, "Hey Kenz" in a strained voice. She was in the middle of a contraction. I thought it was hilarious that she answered, so I asked if she wanted to call me back later. She said, "well I love you and I wanted to talke to you!" Then she had a baby. (Not with me on the line..hehe) So after 4 boys she finally had her little Eva Jane Haslam. And she is gorgeous.

Speaking of sisters, Trent and I went to Boise last weekend to see my oldest sister, Cristi! I hadn't seen her family in a while and the kids had grown like crazy! Not to mention Cristi went gluten free and looks absolutely amazing now. Anyway, last time we saw them, her daughter Hannah fell in love with Trent. We thought after a couple years it would have subsided, but NOPE! Here are some great Hannah quotes from the trip.

"My Trenty-bear"

"You married the right guy, he is just so snuggly!!"

"Trent, will you hold me?"

"He is just like a teddy bear!"

"He is just so snuggly I'm gonna die!"

(After Trent picked and gave her a flower) "SNIFF...**sigh**"

James! Amazing big brother...

Little Miss Leah

The Lovebirds

Sick/Snuggly Leah

Funny Rachel!